Whose Picking Me Up Today?

My ex-husband and I have a four-year-old daughter. We have shared custody, as a result, we alternate picking her up from daycare. Lately, she seemed confused over who’s picking her up from school… Her teacher says she’s noticed that my daughter becomes agitated close to pick up time… Asking the teacher, “who’s picking me up today?”. What can we do to reduce her anxiety over afterschool pickups?

As more parents adopt shared parenting arrangements, it’s common that the transitions will take place during the school week – I understand her frustration, after all, learning, the ABCs is hard enough – keeping up with an adult schedule can be the last straw.  Try this, have dad gift her with t-shirts, socks, shoestrings, stickers, etc of her favorite color or character. On the day, she’s picked up by dad, allow her to wear on of these items…. She will associate wearing these items with dad picking her up.

For example, dad always called his little girl Princess. I had him purchase several Princess items. On the day that dad would pick her up from school, mom made sure she was wearing something Princess. Abby knew that whenever she wore her princess clothing, that would be the day dad would pick her up from school. After several months, whenever Abby missed dad, she’d ask to put on her princess shirt…. Letting mom know that she wanted to see her dad.